[Transcript of Episode 7: ‘Show Me To The Brexit’ from 05/23/17]
INTRO
REFERENDA
With a general
election coming up in the United Kingdom let’s look at conspiracies floating
around the European Union and Britain. Last year we had the Brexit vote – where
a referendum was held in Britain on whether to leave the European Union and
they voted to leave. The vote also lead to the resignation of UK Prime Minister
David Cameron.
Back in 2014 we had
another referendum on whether Scotland might want independence from the UK. The
Scottish voted to remain in the United Kingdom. These votes had many similarities
since both votes were on remaining or leaving, though splitting from a
multiparty body like the EU is very different to leaving an actual country.
In both campaigns the
remain groups said that voting to leave the EU/UK would result in economic
disaster and companies would leave in droves. Which is ironic since many of the
people who supported Brexit were against Scottish independence and vice versa,
which meant they were making opposite arguments on these 2 votes.
THE UNITED STATES OF
EUROPE
Normally it’s hard to
prove these one-world government conspiracies as no-one involved will admit it but
with the European Union they are happy to admit the end goal is to create a
pan-European nation. Various European leaders and EU heads have talked about
closer and closer integration – in 2014 then Italian Prime Minister Matteo
Renzi talked about moving towards a ‘United States of Europe’. Which is funny
since he also had to resign after losing a referendum.
The European Union
won the Nobel Prize in 2012 for preventing war and promoting democracy. One of
the supposed benefits of the EU is that bringing different European nations
together under one banner stops conflicts. Except that the idea of joining
states with people of differing cultures and languages didn’t work out so well
for Yugoslavia. And also the fact that many of the wars in the post-WW2 era
have been civil wars.
We’ve had Brexit,
with the possibility of Grexit, Frexit and Nexit. In fact, the only reason
Italy hasn’t left the EU already is because they can’t get a good portmanteau
of Italy and Exit – Itexit? Just doesn’t work. Eventually we could get Swexit,
Bexit, Luxit, Spexit and my favorite, Fixit. Eventually the EU will just be
Germany.
Regarding the Brexit
vote – England voted to remain, but Scotland voted to stay in the EU. Which
meant many Scots wanted their independence and then wanted to sign up to a
multi-state organisation where they would lose some of their rights to make
their own policy and economic decisions. But is it any wonder Britain voted to
leave the EU – they are a proud nation with a glorious empire (that they no
longer have) and they value their independence to follow whatever their elected
leader (the American president) wants.
INDEPENDENCE DAY
The Brexit vote
result has led to a renewed push for another Scottish independence referendum because
they think because the Scots wanting to stay in the EU might be enough to push
them over the line. But forget Scotland leaving the UK – someone else is
looking to leave – is it Northern Ireland? No. Wales? No. Jersey or Guernsey?
No. The Isle of Man? No. Cornwall? No. England is planning to get independence.
You heard it here first – if Theresa May wins re-election expect an
announcement in the next few years of a referendum.
Although it might
seem weird for England to leave the United Kingdom the English have always had
an independent streak as shown by their Brexit vote and this way they can throw
off the yoke of the oppressive Welsh, Scots and Irish. It would also be a great
f-you to the Scottish for threatening to leave. And finally, the English can
get rid of the Queen of Scotland Elizabeth Windsor, aka Elizabeth Saxe-Coburg
Gotha, and finally get one of their own as Head of State.
English independence
would have little impact on sport since in many sports such as soccer they
already compete as individual teams. It’s really only the Olympics and a few
other sports such as tennis where they compete together as the United Kingdom.
And in tennis that would mean that Scot Andy Murray would not be representing
the English anymore which would give the English the benefit of no longer having
to cheer him on at Wimbledon.
With Brexit happening
some in England are pushing to bring back the imperial system for measurement.
Many are pushing this because the old measurement system is British and not
continental – the metric system originating in France. Another reason is
because the metric system is godless and Communist.
Provided I am not taken out by the powers that
be I shall return ... if I can be
bothered. What shocking conspiracy will I be unbuttoning? Well, let me just say
– My name is Bond, Comrade Bond. Scared – you should be?
Starring: John Smith
Written by: Johan
Schmidt
Edited by: Jonathon
Smythe
Music by: Jens Smit
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