[Transcript of Episode 16: ‘YouTube Conspiracy + 2016 Recap’ from 12/29/17]

https://youtu.be/jtpKsRl0PSU

INTRO

  Welcome, I’m the Conspiracy Man. Yes, I’m not wearing a Guy Fawkes mask, because I’m not a poser – I’m the real deal, I ain’t wearing a mass-produced corporatized piece of movie merchandise.

 To end the year, we’ll be recapping what I’ve proven this year, but first let’s look at a conspiracy regarding YouTube itself.

YOUTUBE CENSORSHIP

 There’s been a lot of controversy regarding YouTube and censorship.

 Before I created this series, I made a bunch of videos about Islamic State mouthpiece Jihadi John, who is no longer with this, having been hit with a non-homeopathic missile in the face. Basically, I took the footage, removed his audio and replaced it with audio from other sources, similar to the greatest of all YouTube videos, ‘the Vader Sessions’. Just like that video, there were no lip-syncing issues, making it a work of comic genius.

 But recently I received an email notifying me that my video had been taken down and given a Community Strike. I’ve basically been censored. Is YouTube so politically correct that a video making fun of terrorists is regarded as ‘hate speech’, lest we hurt their feelings?

 And it’s not just overt censorship. Why hasn’t this video gotten more views? We know that YouTube uses algorithms to suggest videos that you would be interested in. Who’s to stop them fiddling with these algorithms to get the results they want?

 Satire and parody to belittle the evil and powerful is a great way to fight their sinister propaganda. Why would YouTube take down a video that had the power to degrade and destroy Islamic State? How many other peoples’ videos making fun of IS has YouTube taken down? Could we have seen a IS collapsing under a tsunami of ridicule? Sorry, I should use the term the BBC uses, so-called Islamic State. Hashtag not all Muslims.

DO BE EVIL

 So, what is the deal with YouTube, and furthermore their parent company Google? Why would they remove a video that was anti-so-called Islamic State? Were they trying to protect so-called Islamic State supporters’ feelings? Does so-called YouTube secretly support so-called Islamic State? Based on this so-called evidence, the so-called answer is yes.

 Also, the lack of views for the Conspiracy Man series can only be because I am telling the truth that they don’t want to get out. Surely there is no other explanation for this channel’s complete lack of success. I’m spitting out righteous truth and they can’t handle it.

 The ball is in your court Google. Oh, and please don’t take down this video.

WHAT A YEAR!

 There are 12 months in a year and I exposed 12 conspiracies – coincidence? I don’t think so. I covered everything – the JFK assassination; time travel and PED use in the entertainment industry; the secret propaganda of James Bond movies, the people behind the gluten-free fad; who was really responsible for 9/11; which part of the United Kingdom will be the next to push for independence; the other poisons put in our fluoridated water supply and secret symbolism in baseball. I’ve even tackled the end of the world, which didn’t happen this year only because some people believed it would. Yes, that does make sense.

 But the one I’m most proud of is how I exposed the use of undetectable homeopathic poisons to secretly assassinate people. Now let us have a roll call of all the people who have died this year as a result of being covertly murdered by homeopathy-wielding assassins.

Roll Call: [not sure about order]

David Cassidy     1950-2017            Liver failure

Tom Petty           1950-2017            Cardiac arrest

Hugh Hefner      1926-2017            Various

Jerry Lewis          1926-2017            Cardiovascular disease

Adam West         1928-2017            Leukemia           

Roger Moore     1927-2017            Cancer

Chris Cornell       1964-2017            Suicide

Chuck Berry        1926-2017            Probable Cardiac Arrest

Bill Paxton          1955-2017            Stroke

John Hurt             1940-2017            Pancreatic Cancer

Kevin Spaceys’ Career    1981-2017            Sexual Misconduct

Luke Skywalker                 1977-2017            Lightsaber

THE FUTURE?

 Provided I am not taken out by the ‘powers that be’ [i.e. YouTube] I shall return. What does next year hold? We’ll be covering everything from flat-earthers to climate change, from the Marvel Comics Cinematic Universe to the actual universe, and from hidden messages in songs to the Great Bard himself, Shakespeare.

 But what will we start the year with? Well, let me just say – the Oscars ‘race’. Scared – you should be?                   

Starring: Mr. Starr

Written by: Ms. Wright

Edited by: Mr. Cutter

Music by: Mr. Music